just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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