I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
