By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
That accounts for only three of the penises
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
