I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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