Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
