Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
even my farts smell like vagina
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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