Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
