This girl is more easily done than said...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Of course I have a pirate flag
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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