K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize