i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
