So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
