So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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