Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
