dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
