at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
