That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
