You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
