is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
