Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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