If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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