whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
