I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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