I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
