I'm so fucking centered right now
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think a kid would responsible me up
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
