did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
