I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
