so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
