have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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