just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
