Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
