I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
