awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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