Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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