He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize