Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
