He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
