Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
