yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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