shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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