I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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