this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
