4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
