I'm drive I can fine osifer
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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