If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
