I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
