The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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