Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
