So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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