You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
