Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize