Non-Jews are for practice
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
