I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
