you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
