Im at strip club and am horny
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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