You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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