tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Randomize
