Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
