Can Purell be used as lube?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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