what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I know her cup size but not her name....
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
