Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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