just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
