Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she peed on how many people?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
