My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
