we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you mean i was at the winter classic?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize