Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
