so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
