how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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