Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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