Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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