My friends, they love my intelligence
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
