that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
