remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
