We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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