just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
this is an emotional support booty call
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
