Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
