Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
