i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My life is pants optional.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
