I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
