you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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