I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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