You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
