Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
