I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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