...so i touched it.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
