I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
vagina is talking i cant
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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