i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
even my farts smell like vagina
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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