Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
