I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
