I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
