I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she looked like the before picture.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
