she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
how drunk are you?
Several
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
