That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I need moral support for this bender
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
